Thoughts on Living a Passionate Life

by Lucky Bones

I was just down at my small local hardware store, the one known for high prices and good service. We have one of the big stores too, known for low prices and no service. It's a trade off. Jocelyn, who works in the garden department, is going off to college this fall and she's very excited about it. She always wants to hear where I've been traveling to.

One of her co-workers came by as we were loading peat moss into my pickup. Jocelyn gestured at me and told him, "This man's an artist and travels everywhere, isn't that cool?"

This brought a sour look. "Oh, that travel stuff is way over-rated," he told her. "Once I was thirty miles from the Grand Canyon but I didn't go see it."

Jocelyn was astounded. "You didn't?"

He shrugged. "Why bother? It's just a hole in the ground," and with this sage observation he wandered off.

It seems strange that anyone would take pride in where they've never been, but I guess some people like living in a small world. It has nothing to do with travel, just about attitude. For some there seems to be a comfort in making a fence around their lives, setting a boundary of prejudice and lack of curiosity. I'd rather live with a sense of wonder. If I'm thirty miles from the Grand Canyon and don't get to see it I'm going to complain, not brag. Besides, anyone who describes the Grand Canyon as "just" anything probably thinks tofu and tapioca are spicy foods.*

When I was 18 and an apprentice carpenter working heavy construction, I would listen to the older guys talk about all the opportunities they'd let pass. "I wish I'd have done this and I wish I'd have done that," they'd say. I wished then and there to not fill up my life with the things I'd never done. Still, reflecting on it all these years later, these men at least had regret for chances missed. They didn't boast of them.

Our culture is full of exhortations to live today, from "Carpe Diem" to "you only live once." Nobody can hold to them every moment, but it's rewarding to remain true to the concept. Yes, all those details of everyday life can bog us down. But would you rather be around someone who makes you smile or someone who brings their black cloud for everyone to share? Every day isn't full of sunshine but for some it always seems to be full of rain. I have a personal term for these people, "The Black Clouders," meaning that when the cloud moves away they run as fast as they can to get back under it. I know a man who walks as if the world sits heavier on his shoulders than it does anyone else, and he walks that way because he thinks it impresses people. He finds it important to be clear on his prejudices. Mention New York and he'll tell you, "I hate New York." Speak of lawyers and you'll get a dissertation on why he hates lawyers. The same for bankers, bulldozer operators not from California and who knows what else, as if there's virtue in dislike. It's an interesting concept but not one that finds much influence. Then there are what I call the neutral people. Not happy, not sad, not...anything. Once in a while I see a young woman and it occurs to me she's heard that smiling and frowning both cause wrinkles and she's determined never to have one. Personally, I'm a sucker for smile lines. A few times I've taken it as a challenge to see if I could make one of these people smile. Yes it's possible, though rarely worth the effort.

In contrast, my favorite nurse always has a smile and a bounce in her step. When you're around her things just seem a little brighter. Once I asked how she stayed so "up" all the time and she told me, "I just decided a long time ago not to let anybody steal my joy." What a great attitude, and she doesn't just say it, she practices it. Just by knowing her, you realize that this woman really lives, and has lived. It shows in her face and it shows in her smile. I'm pretty sure that at any age she'll be bouncing along and spreading sunshine in her path. Now I ask you, who would you rather be around, and which kind of person would you rather be?

Does anyone really like being on the sour side of life? I'm still uncertain about that. There must be a mystique of misery that's very seductive because a lot of people are under its spell. Can one change one's outlook from feeling oppressed to being joyful? I think so, but I doubt that many people want to try.

You don't have to ride roller coasters to live a passionate life. You don't have to travel, skydive or become an expert on Beethoven. All you have to do is put your heart into it. It's up to you.